“A day will come when the story inside you will want to breathe on its own. That’s when you’ll start writing.” Sarah Noffke

Do you ever feel like you have to explain every little story of every important life event in order for people to understand who you are? Or, more to the point, why you are the way you are? It’s like you have to justify your life so that your actions and feelings are, ultimately, validated? I recently started journaling and I feel like if I don’t write down every stressful moment I will somehow forget it. Wouldn’t it be great if we could actually do that? If we didn’t write it down or tell someone about it all our difficult times would just disappear from our memory?

I never remembered a time in my life when I didn’t feel like I needed to “tell my story.” Every time I go to therapy I bring a list of issues that I feel are necessary to address. Some call it FOMO, but for me, the fear of missing out is not in regards to entertainment and social activities, but for being either misunderstood or not fully understood. I wondered recently if there is a diagnosis for this chronic and desperate need for validation. I’m pretty sure it’s called Major Depression with Anxiety. Wow, what a surprise, right? As I write this I am fearful that I have written too much, don’t want to overload the reader on every detail of my life, or that I have left out some major experiences that have shaped me into who I am. Both feelings scare me and make me feel crazy…

Some pretty major traumas occurred in my life in 2016. I was out of my mind with anxiety and depression. I researched ways to help for this in addition to therapy and psychotropic medication, both of which I am religiously committed to, and I found a website that offered an idea that seemed so simple. You see, I am an English teacher and preach the power of writing in all forms to my teenagers every day. Why is it so hard to see that what we suggest for others seems to be the very idea we need to explore ourselves? The article told me to write my life story.  And so I did. How simple! I am by no means even close to having it finished, I have left some chapters blank as they are still too painful to write, but I am working on it and would love to hear from others who have done it or are thinking of doing it!

 

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    Hi! I am a single mom of two and a survivor of divorce, traumatic death in the family, financial devastation, depression and anxiety, and parenting struggles. Please join in the blog posts, we can all use all of the help we can get to move on!

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